Impressions, reach, followers, engagement rate, and 'brand awareness'. They're easy to grow, impossible to bank, and they're hiding what's actually broken.
Why vanity metrics survive
They survive because they always go up and to the right, which makes for a comforting slide. But a metric that only ever improves is usually a metric that doesn't matter.
The five worst offenders
Impressions: you paid to be seen, not to be bought from. Reach: the same, at scale. Followers: an audience you rent, not customers you own. Engagement rate: often highest on your least commercial content. 'Brand awareness': the metric people reach for when nothing sold.
What to track instead
Cost per acquired customer. Revenue per channel, matched to your books. Payback period on spend. LTV:CAC. These are uglier, harder to grow, and the only ones that pay the bills.